Let me get straight to the point and answer that question. No. And yet we have been told so for centuries. Beliefs that we are less important and less capable are therefore still deeply rooted in our DNA. Consequently, being a woman is often accompanied by a lack of self-confidence, and we consistently undervalue our own talents and achievements.
Michelle Obama: “I still feel like an imposter, that never ends. Even at this moment, when you listen to me. I always carry with me the feeling that you shouldn’t take me seriously. What do I actually know? I share this with you because we all have doubts about our abilities, about our power and what that power is.”
(during her autobiography tour)
Countless highly educated, successful women recognize this sense of insecurity and instinctively attribute their successes to luck or chance. At least three quarters of the women identify with this. They struggle with the Imposter Syndrome, the feeling that you’re just doing something and one day will be unmasked as a fraud. Something in us is convinced that we don’t really deserve to succeed, to flourish.
One study compared how boys and girls responded to getting a poor result on a test. Most guys concluded that the test was just really hard. The girls saw it as their failure, it was their fault, and they were disappointed in themselves.
There is no denying that men and women differ from each other. The male and female are even seen as opposites in nature, as in yin and yang. There you immediately see very clearly how one needs the other to be whole, without one dominating the other.
Osho on the differences between men and women: “One is that women are capable of producing life; the man is not. In that way he is inferior, and that inferiority has played a major role in the domination of women by men. …. Thus, through the ages, man has destroyed woman’s genius, her talents, abilities, so that he can prove himself superior – to himself and to the world. (From: The Sword and the Lotus)
If we look purely physically at it, then it is clear that on average men have more muscle strength than women. At the same time, many studies show that women are more resistant to illness, hunger, physical hardship. For the species to survive, the sex that invests the most in the care of the children must be better able to survive. So, which is stronger then?
I don’t think that the question of who is the strongest or the weakest is relevant. Instead of dealing with the differences, it is much nicer to look at what really connects us and what we recognize of ourselves in the other. And what is typically feminine and what is typically masculine? Is it really true that only boys are wild, strong and impulsive and girls are sweet, good and emotional or did we just decide it that way? Can we be both?
I see around me that we live in the time where we can repair that piece in our DNA that has built up over thousands of years. We don’t have to blame the men for that and react from an aggressive energy. I don’t really believe in blaming and pointing the finger. That only brings negativity. I believe in working on that part in you that may be healed.
We can change old patterns and beliefs, which we inherited from all those women of the generations before us. By focusing on ourselves, discovering ourselves, seeing who and what we really are under those beliefs, without negative judgments. Awareness is the first step. When we become aware of how we look at ourselves. And seeing the difference with how men look at themselves. How they much more easily look for the problem outside themselves, where with us it is always our fault.
What would it be like if none of us believed that we were worth less? If we collectively decide that we are good as we are? That we can be successful in our own way? I think we can all get better from that.